Are You in Victim Consciousness?


Written By Rebecca Paris

Do you often feel like a victim? Do you feel that life is unfair and that you got the wrong end of the deal? Do you think there is at least one abuser in your life? Or, do you feel you would be much happier and successful if “these” people would stop taking advantage of you? If so, you may be projecting victim consciousness. Not to say that these things didn’t happen to you and that you were not adversely affected. It just means part of you is buying into and resonating in the co-dependent triangle that may be keeping you in this position. Some of the words to describe victim consciousness follow:

Victim (“I’m Helpless”)

  • Helplessness
  • Hopelessness
  • Despair
  • Depression
  • Low self-esteem
  • Self-rejection
  • Shame
  • Fear
  • Isolation

Why would you want to be a victim and continue to identify as such? There are subconscious reasons to do so, and maybe they were passed on epigenetically from your ancestors. By playing the victim, you are abdicating your power to things outside of yourself, and not realizing you are the main co-creator of your life. In addition, without realizing it, some “victims” take on a self-righteous ego personality.

These traits of victim consciousness, from Raising the Vibe Business Member, Dr. Nicholas Demetry (Thesouldoctor.com) in his book ‘Divine Partnership: Unity Beyond Duality”, are just one part of the co-dependent triangle. According to Demetry, a balancing act in families occurs when one takes the role of the abuser/perpetrator, another the victim, and then to balance the energy, the rescuer steps in. This triangle is also similar to Karpman’s Drama triangle. We often take on different roles depending on the situation…with our spouse, at work or with the kids. In effect, you could be taking on all three roles of this co-dependent triangle in just one day.

You probably don’t identify as being an Abuser/Perpetrator, but the attitudes listed below by Dr. Demetry, may be a part of your life at times as well.


Abuser or Perpetrator (“Your Fault”)

  • Active agression
  • Anger
  • Frustration
  • Impatience
  • Violence
  • Arrogance
  • Perfectionism
  • Domination
  • Criticism of others

Many more of us may identify with being the rescuer. Even though I am aware of this propensity in my life, especially with my young adult children, I still find myself taking on many of these traits. You may say that this isn’t so bad. However, it is based in the ego trait of pride, being the one that comes to save the day. Inherently, this means you think the ones you help are somehow less capable than you and don’t give them a chance to develop the skills/strength inside themselves which are important for living a whole and healthy life. You rescuing may perpetuate the victim mentality in others, which will most likely exhaust you. Rescuers are often not living their true genius/purpose through their own source connection because they are giving the majority of life force away, and subsequently may harbor resentment from being the martyr. This does not mean that helping someone is bad, it just needs to be in healthy balance with an understanding of what the other person can truly do for themselves.

Rescuer (“I’ll Help”)

  • Self-Sacrifice
  • Suffering to Love
  • Giving too much
  • Guilt
  • Worry
  • Anxiety
  • The martyr syndrome
  • Caretaking
  • Enabling
  • Over-responsibility

There are many methods for overcoming this triangle, primarily finding connection with your own higher power/source and taking on more of an observer perspective. Resources to learn more, and escape Victim Consciousness and the co-dependent triangle roles are listed below:

Divine Partnership, by Dr Demetry, on Amazon.

https://www.lynneforrest.com/observer-self/2015/09/defining-victim-consciousness-vs-observer-consciousness/

https://www.shiftfrequency.com/overcome-victim-consciousness-with-this-one-simple-change/

https://soulsisterstruth.com/2019/06/09/what-is-victim-conscious-why-it-will-keep-you-stuck-and-how-to-heal-it/

About the Author: Rebecca Paris, formerly Rebecca Becker, is a former advertising professional and VP of Marketing for United Way of Atlanta as well as an artist. She is the founder and Executive Director of Raising the Vibe, a 501 (C)(3) nonprofit, and is now offering her services as a Gene Keys and Spiritual Guide. In addition to blogging, Rebecca has authored the free Ebook, The Matrix Resurrections Unraveled, to unpack the nature of our reality exposed in this latest Matrix movie.