Releasing Attachment and Suffering

Written By Rebecca Paris

As per usual, what is showing up in my life as a theme is often the subject of my monthly blog. Most of you are familiar with the famous Buddha quote: 

“The root of suffering is attachment”. -Buddha

We are not just attached to people and objects, we are attached to all of these things as this visual shows. We may be attached to our opinion or get stuck in a rut with our routine. One way to help with many of these attachments is to stop identifying with our small self or ego. We are not just the people we see in the mirror with names attached. We are each an infinite spark of the divine having a temporary experience. When we can let go of the fear of living and dying, we can truly experience life as a free co-creator of this world. In addition, when we stop identifying with the “small self”, we can more easily let go of what other people think, and realize that anything they may feel about us is a projection of their own fear or wounding.

Detachment also happened to be the world theme last week, April 11 – 15, according the Gene Keys Synthesis.  

“Detachment occurs in the opposite way than one might think. True detachment cannot be forced through discipline. Any attempt to force detachment simply creates more attachment. You cannot hold down a natural impulse indefinitely. With true detachment one yields to every feeling absolutely. This does not mean that it has to be acted upon but that it must be embraced, allowed and accepted. “- Richard Rudd, Gene Keys

The idea of detachment, which is similar to surrender, has been present for me for the last several weeks now. My reflexologist suggested the book, Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender, by Dr. David Hawkins, which is about detachment and replacing fear with love. He is famous for the Scale of Consciousness chart.  I was given the opportunity to practice surrender and detachment from my agenda when trying to get out of town last weekend. I had to deal with a flat tire the day before, and the morning of the trip realized one of my two new tires was leaking air. To add a humorous twist, I even had to stop for a train that I had never seen pass by before, derailing my plans to attend my daughter’s yoga class before our trip. Furthermore, a roadtrip that was supposed to be 7 hours, took 10 due to multiple accidents. Thankfully, my daughter and I surrendered to the circumstances and made the most of it. It was a poignant reminder that we are not in control.

In one of my personal relationships which has been the most challenging, I have become more aware that I have held resentment due to self-sacrifice, the martyr syndrome. My small self (personality) has held on to pride instead of relinquished that for the higher attitude of love. When we hold onto pride and get defensive, it invites that in others and it escalates. This also ties with being the rescuer (see last month’s blog), which turns the other person into the victim in the energetic dynamic. I have learned the hard way that self sacrifice only depletes you and puts pressure on others. 

The quote attributed to Dr. Wayne Dyer is a nice reminder:

“ It is better to be kind than right”. - Dr.Wayne Dyer

Being right is prideful, which resonates at the level of 175 on the scale of consciousness with a “demanding” view of life. Being kind resonates at the love frequency of 500 with the view of life as “benign”. When we feel we are in a tug of war with someone, the best alternative may be to let go of our end of the rope, which ends the energetic struggle keeping the whole thing in place. We can even detach from opinions by loving an idea vs. being attached and prideful that our perspective is the only way. Being attached to our opinions only leads to an argument from someone who sees it differently.

According to Hawkins , the ‘small’ part of ourselves is attached to the familiar, no matter how painful or inefficient it is. Believe it or not, all the negativity that goes with it: feeling unworthy, being invalidated, judging others and ourselves, being ‘right’ craving assurance, and seeking love instead of giving it is hard to relinquish because it satisfies our ego in some way. In addition, the attitudes we hold about another person influences that other person’s feelings and attitudes about us, whether we express them or not. Dr. Hawkin’s book ,“Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender”, also reminds us that the more loving we are, the less vulnerable we are to grief and loss, and the less we need to seek attachments. We have the unconscious fantasy that fear is keeping us alive; this is because fear is associated with our many survival mechanisms. If we look at the scale, Fear is far below 200, the breakeven point between life and anti-life.

As we continue to see many staples and institutions in our world break down, your attitude will go a long way to help weather the storm and even surf the cosmic wave. Surrender and detach!

About the Author: Rebecca Paris, formerly Rebecca Becker, is a former advertising professional and VP of Marketing for United Way of Atlanta as well as an artist. She is the founder and Executive Director of Raising the Vibe, a 501 (C)(3) nonprofit, and is now offering her services as a Gene Keys and Spiritual Guide. In addition to blogging, Rebecca has authored the free Ebook, The Matrix Resurrections Unraveled, to unpack the nature of our reality exposed in this latest Matrix movie.